Guidelines on Tipping

The waiter at the popular burger restaurant looked overwhelmed and slightly irritated as he bustled about, back and forth by the table he was serving, occasionally stopping to check on the two girls or refill their drinks. Even though it was only lunch time, the restaurant was filling quickly and he had a full section of tables to serve. He was friendly and skilled at his job. You could tell he did a great job, and the girls wondered at his seeming frustration. Did he have customers that were angry with him for some reason, even though he seemed like he was on top of everything? The girls tried their best to be friendly, hoping to steal a moment to inquire of him. Maybe he just needed to let something off his chest. Maybe he just didn't do well when the restaurant filled up. Why was it so full? the girls wondered. And then they remembered; it was Sunday, after all.

The waiter came over to ask again how the girls were doing, and they smiled and encouraged him the best they could. "Everything is great! You are doing an awesome job, thanks!"

"Thanks girls, at least you two are happy," he replied.

"What? Isn't anyone else?"

"It's a tough crowd, but I'm used to it. I usually work Sunday at this time, and this is pretty normal-the church crowd."

Ouch. Does something seem wrong with that picture?

My sister relayed that story to me one day, about how she had lunch with a friend after church and were filled with compassion for this waiter, who proceeded to explain how Sunday church crowds often mean rude people and small tips. It saddened and frustrated my sister and her friend, as it does me when I hear similar stories. And unfortunately I've heard many. It's upsetting because, as Christians ourselves, we desire to represent Christ in our lifestyles by love and generosity and kindness, and when people are turned off of Christianity because of Christians, something is seriously wrong. I also can't help but feel that my own witness has been ruined by bad examples from other people.


Now, I decided early on that I didn't want my blog to be a place where I complained, or talked about pet peeves or things that frustrated me, whether in or out of the church. It's too easy to do that. Rather, I want to uplift, inspire, and encourage others by sharing stories from my own life, or things that the Lord is teaching me in my own walk of faith. So it is with caution that I proceed, feeling that I should share this disturbing truth going on in churches today, and with many people who profess to be Christians. It's what many people outside of the church already see and know, and it's what keeps many of them from even wanting to know about God. It is this: hypocrisy-people professing to know Christ, but then denying Him with their lifestyles. It's people in the church who are acting no different, if not worse, than the world through their actions, speech, or lifestyles. It's the judgemental, non-loving hearts and attitudes from people who are supposed to be saved and changed by God's own love and grace. How can we embrace God's grace for ourselves but then fail to give it out to others?

Now, there are many forms of being hypocritical, and I could go on forever with examples and ideas, but I don't need to. My heart just breaks for the friends and family I know who are so turned off of God and the Church (which is God's body of believers) because of their bad experiences with supposed "Christians" that they don't want anything to do with God. So my purpose for writing this post is actually two-fold- I want to apologize, personally, for the bad, hypocritical behavior of any person or church who has not represented Christ in the right way. I'm truly sorry, because Christ called his church to love himself and then love others above all else. We should be so filled with love and gratitude from what Jesus did-dying on the cross to take the punishment for our own wrongdoing, our sin, so that we can be saved from a life and eternity without God-that we can't help but share that love with others. When a person accepts Christ's forgiveness into his life and begins to walk with him (being saved) then Christ's spirit comes into that person to change them and guide them. And if we aren't being changed and transformed by God's spirit, then it may be that his Spirit isn't there, and there has not been true repentence or surrender in the life of that person claiming to be a Christian. Now, I'm not saying that a genuine believer will never sin and will be perfect, but there is a change that comes from understanding and accepting God's grace and forgiveness. We still sin (being human) but there is now awareness and conviction for that sin, and a desire to seek and serve God, to become more like Him, not for our glory but so that other's may witness our changed lives and be drawn to Him as well. After all, He is the answer to our lost world, the reason and purpose we are all here! So we want to share that life-changing news with others, rather than turn them off by living and acting in a way contrary to what Jesus calls us to. The point is, our lives should shine! Christians' words and actions and demeanor should be proof of Christ living in them.

In addition to my apology, I also want to say this to anyone who has been hurt or turned off by the church or a hypocritical "Christian." Please don't judge God by a fallible human's bad representation of Him. People are people, and we mess up. We're imperfect, and unfortunately we often misrepresent our loving, gracious God. But's it's not hard to find out who He is and what He is really like. That is the main message I want to get across. I hope this can be a wake-up call to Believers to evaluate our hearts and actions, but mostly I want others out there to know who God really is. Don't give up on Him or on seeking to find out who He is and what He is really like yourselves. I'm sorry for any bad experience you've had, but on the other hand, it would be a tragedy to blame God for someone else's bad behavior, and then give up on seeking him altogether because of that.

God is not a mystery, and if you want to know what He is really like, all you need to do is open His word, the Bible. God wants to reveal Himself to you. He is a good, gracious, SAVING God. He is a kind, loving, FATHER God. He is an awesome, Holy, creative CREATOR God. He made you and created you for a purpose. (Jeremiah 29:11-13) He says that all those who seek him will find him. He doesn't force himself in anyone's life. He doesn't force us to love and serve him, because that would not be real love at all. But he patiently stands at the door (that's your heart) and knocks. (Revelation 3:20) He is the gentle whisper that comes in the calm after the storm. (1 Kings 19:11-13) He is the loving, adoring father who runs to his child who has been lost and wayward, and celebrates his return by throwing him the grandest feast. (Luke 15:11-24) He is the shepherd who leaves the 99 sheep to come looking for his 1 lost sheep because every single one of them (YOU) is important, and he celebrates when each one who is lost is found! (Luke 15:1-7) He is the only thing that can and will fill the longing of every human's heart. And because I know this truth personally, and because I know he loves me so much, I just can't help but love him back, and I can't help but tell you all as well.

I like to remind people that when Jesus was here living among us and doing his ministry, he actually spoke against the religious people of his day. And who did he hang out with? It was the tax collectors, the fishermen, the lowly, the "down and out" and despised people. He showed that God shows no favoritism, and that he came for everyone. So Christians needs to remember that we aren't "above" anyone else. We were given a free gift, and we're saved because of what HE did, not because of us. If, on the other hand, you are new to reading the Bible, and you just want to know who this Jesus guy is and what he is all about, then start by opening to the New Testament and read the first four books, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. These are bascially the biographies of who Jesus is and what He did. Start there, and then pray that God would reveal himself to you.

Back to the scenario at the beginning: as dis-heartening as it is to know there are bad representations of Christ out there, I do know that there are even more real, passionate, loving churches and Christians out there as well. I'm married to one (tee hee!), I am surrounded by others that are friends and family, and I belong to an amazing, genuine church filled with people who truly love the Lord and love people, not just with words but with actions. That day at the restaurant, my sister proceeded to tell the waiter that they were also part of the "church crowd," but not that church crowd that he described. She apologized, and told him that it shouldn't be that way, and they hoped they could redeem, in even a small way, the name of Christ and what it means to be a Christian. And then they left him a big tip, because, for one, that's what Jesus would have done. And honestly people, that is truly one of the easiest ways to bless someone.

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." -Jeremiah 29:13

"Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." -Matthew 5:15-16